Hardcore Egg
by IXResoleon Sevil Nugliar
Summary: Isn't it interesting to see how he reacts when he's the one being trolled? Especially by his favorite snack? A rare One-Shot featuring the god of all trolls, Hazama!


Hello, everybody. Resoleon here bringing you another Blazblue Fanfiction.

This will feature the god of all trolls trying to have his favorite snack or dish which is hardboiled egg. However, when he decides to have a special variety of egg, who's the one being trolled?

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**Hazama Short Story: Hardcore Egg**

On a nice evening, Hazama is whistling while returning to his mansion. He was particularly happy on this night because he brought home not just his favorite food, but a unique variety of it. He is walking into the kitchen with his carton of unique eggs.

"Oh these eggs...I always wanted to try them but I never got to because of well...you know...so much shit I had to do. Well, there's no time like the present. Wait...or is it...no future like the past or the present? Oh whatever. I am going to have some delicious hardboiled GOLDEN eggs! Ha, ha!"

Once he confirmed that the egg was done boiling, Hazama opens up the utensil drawer and takes out a spoon. He takes a pair of tongs and extracts the egg from the boiling pot of water.

"Alright...let's take this guy here and enjoy some egg!"

He lightly taps the top of the egg with the spoon but nothing happens. He shrugs it off.

"Sometimes, I think I may be too soft on the egg."

He taps the egg once again with slightly more strength but once again the egg remains unscathed. Hazama gave a look of slight surprise and tapped even harder. When he saw that nothing was happening, he decided to tap repeatedly and still nothing happened. He holds the egg in front of his face and points at it as he's talking.

"Are you serious? What the heck kind of egg is this? Alright, mister golden egg, you're going to tease me like this by putting up futile resistance? Well..."

Hazama replaces his small spoon and takes out his serving spoon to hold in front of the egg.

"I'm busting out my big guns, now."

He taps the top of the egg with much strength using his serving spoon. Hazama had a look of disgust and taps repeatedly on it with more strength.

"Grrr...come on!"

Hazama stops tapping and glares at the egg. He then gets an idea.

"Ah I got it! It's just missing some good old serpent's power."

He puts the egg standing up and stands a distance from it. He then fires a Ouroboros chain at the egg. When it comes into contact with it, it deflects it upward to the ceiling which deflects it right back at Hazama. The point of the chain stabs his head and he takes it out quickly and holds his head in slight pain.

"OHHH! FFF***K! Hurts like a bitch! Maybe I can kick it open?"

Hazama puts the egg on the floor and does his low spin kick on it and it just recoils the force of the kick back at him. He holds his foot and glares at the egg.

"Seriously, what the hell? Wait, what's this? There are some cracks in there! I'm starting to feel it! I feel as though your resolve is weakening, my friend! You thought you had a chance against me? Well...I have...this hammer on my side."

Hazama takes care to aim and slams it onto the egg. He sees the results which was none.

"Oh my God...how did it not do a f**king thing? I seriously cannot believe that I'm talking to my favorite breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, midnight snack, comfort food and desert right now but you do realize the punishment you have brought upon yourself!"

He goes into a ready position for his Distortion Drive. He tosses the egg into the air and performs...

"SERPENT'S INFERNAL RAPT—OWWWWW!"

Hazama had broken his foot from the recoil of the kick given by the egg. He rolls on the floor in pain for a few minutes before calling for assistance to get him some medical attention. The egg was on the floor, still sturdy and with very few cracks in it.

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At the hospital, Makoto decided to give him a gift while Hazama was nursing his foot. "Hey Captain, I brought your favorite snack!"

Hazama turns on his stretcher to see a bowl of hardboiled eggs Makoto made. He got infuriated upon seeing them and summoned another Ouroboros chain with one hand to break the eggs out of Makoto's hands. All the eggs dropped on the floor and broke. She turned to Hazama with a "WTF" look on her face.

"Captain, aren't eggs your favorite?"

"Yeah well...they can go to hell, now..."

Back at Hazama house was still the carton of those golden eggs. There was a warning label on the bottom of the carton. It read. "Warning: DO NOT boil the eggs. It will cause the metal to harden and thus become unbreakable and inedible."

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**Hardcore Egg: End**

The god of trolls once again got trolled! XD

The first time Hazama got trolled in my Fanfictions was in _Role Troll Reversal_.

As always, thanks for reading and leave any suggstions if you have any.


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